| The Ottawa Citizen
Saturday, March 20 2009, By Dan Gardner. ©The Ottawa Citizen. |
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Springtime in Washington. Spring has come to Washington D.C. Magnolias blossom, daffodils sprout, monuments gleam in the sunshine. Life is sweet. Economic crisis? Oh, yes. That. It's certainly a big issue here. Everyone's talking about it, just as they talk about security in Iraq, turmoil in Mexico, and other problems far, far away. Massive bailouts and stimulus packages have to be managed and distributed, which means work for the civil servants handling the money, and more work for the lobbyists out to get some. "The restaurants here are full," wrote David Frum, conservative pundit and resident of leafy Georgetown, "especially the expense-account steak palaces. When you're giving away $800 billion in stimulus funds, rapidly followed by a $3.55-trillion budget with $750-billion in troubled assets funds likely to come after (that's on top of the $700 billion already committed) ... well in that case, there'll be a long line of people eager to buy you a slab of beef." Across the entire Washington metropolitan area --stretching all the way to rural Virginia -- housing prices have crashed as badly as in other American cities. But there are no bargains to be had in pleasant places like Georgetown, where the steak palaces' customers live. In this year's property value assessments, the value of the average home in neighbourhoods like Foggy Bottom and Burleith is actually up. Like Ottawa, Washington's economic fortunes are counter-cyclical. Pierre Charles L'Enfant is credited with creating Washington but the city wouldn't be what it is today without John Maynard Keynes. But even more than Ottawa, Washington is a government town. Its souvenirs shops are stuffed with presidential bobbleheads, Congressional shot glasses, and endless varieties of bipartisan bric-a-brac -- "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican" T-shirts always being displayed in the same prominence and quantity as "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Democrat" T-shirts.
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And Washington probably has the highest density of bumper stickers in the world. All of them are political. Many can only be deciphered by people who live and breathe politics, like a moped I spotted touting "That One '08." Get it? (For the benefit of those whose minds are filled with somewhat less esoteric knowledge: During one of the presidential debates, John McCain pointed at Barack Obama and referred to him as "that one." Hence the moped's owner is a Democrat. And a freak.) But the best demonstration of what this town is all about can be read over and over on the sides of office buildings. It's the phrase "National Association of." National Association of Home Builders. National Association of Manufacturers. Letter carriers. Railroad passengers. Grizzly bears. Whatever. Every conceivable industry, profession, trade, shared interest, or group of 10 or more people who share a delightful hobby has formed a national association and hired staff to advance its members' interests -- mainly by taking important people to dinner at one of those steak palaces. Competition for the attention of important people is intense, and not only from other national associations. Think-tanks and NGOs cluster in Washington like barnacles on a floating restaurant that never leaves the wharf. Of course, these species exist in other political ecosystems, but in nothing close to the same abundance: Ottawa is to Washington what tundra is to a fetid Amazonian jungle. And then there are the lobbyists. Ottawa has lobbyists. Lots of them. But all the lobbyists in Ottawa are outnumbered by their colleagues in a single Washington steak palace on any given night. According to the Center for Responsive Politics -- that's one of those NGOs encrusting Washington's hull -- there were 10,693 registered lobbyists in 1998. A decade later, there were 15,139. The money spent on lobbying has grown even more rapidly. It was $1.43 billion in 1998. A decade later, $3.24 billion. Mention the phrase "Washington lobbyist" and all sorts of rich, powerful, and unsavoury interests spring to mind. The tobacco companies, for example. In 2008, the Altria Group -- which was Philip Morris until some clever marketing consultant realized "Philip Morris" had become synonymous with "evil bloodsuckers" -- spent $13.8 million on lobbying.
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That sounds impressive, but Big Tobacco is actually a small fish in this ravenous school of tuna: the American Association of Retired Persons spent $27.9 million; ExxonMobil spent $29 million; and the really big tuna, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, splashed out $91.6 million. That's a lot of steak dinners. It is the fundamentals of the American system of governance -- wonderful in many ways -- that nourish this ecosystem. The constant elections, for one. Americans love elections. For Congress, there's a new round every two years. That's very democratic. And very expensive. Campaign fundraising never stops in Washington. The "pro quo" for the "quid" of campaign contributions is legislation. The American system gives plenty of opportunities for even the most obscure congressman or senator to lard bills with pork or otherwise fiddle with the legislative process in minor ways that make a big difference to the grateful people who make contributions and pick up tabs. Again, that's very democratic. And very good for lobbyists. Ever wonder why, prior to 9/11, cockpit doors weren't reinforced? It wasn't that experts didn't see trouble coming. They did. Many called for doors to be reinforced, worried that terrorists might seize control of a plane and do something awful. Some government officials agreed. They pushed to have doors reinforced. And yet, it didn't happen. That's because reinforced door are heavier. That extra weight means a plane consumes a little more fuel. So the airlines fought the idea -- by unleashing lobbyists who did not have to remind anyone that the airlines make big campaign contributions. When cockpit doors were reinforced in November 2001, President George W. Bush publicly congratulated the airlines for acting so swiftly on the matter. That's Washington. It's a special place. Especially when the magnolias are in blossom. You can contact Dan Gardner at the Ottawa Citizen. |
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Copyright © 2005 Dan Gardner |