A strange week in Bizarro World.

In a major speech last year, Prime Minister Stephen Harper attacked those who claim the situation isn't dire. "Some try to pacify Canadians with statistics," he declared. "Your personal experiences and impressions are wrong, they say. Crime is not really a problem."

Yes, crime. What did you think I was talking about?

Oh, right. The economy.

Well, that's different. Completely different.

"While the global recession has hit Canada hard," Harper said in a major speech delivered in Brampton on Tuesday, "it has hit us not nearly as hard as it has other countries. The American economy has been hit twice as hard as Canada. The same is true for the Europeans. The Japanese have been hit four times as hard."

What's that? Statistics? What's he trying to do? Pacify Canadians? Tell them their experiences and impressions are wrong?

Yes, said Michael Ignatieff. That's exactly what he's doing. Why, 1,100 jobs have been lost in Brampton alone, Ignatieff noted, so Stephen Harper is "on a Conservative planet off in outer space as far as Brampton workers are concerned."

But hang on a moment. Back when Stephen Harper claimed crime was a grave and growing menace no matter what the numbers say, he was ridiculed by journalists and politicians alike. I know. I was one of the people ridiculing him.

But now the issue is the economy and we have all been whisked to a planet in outer space -- Bizarro World, where, as Superman fans will remember, everything is the same as it is on Earth except in reverse.

On Bizarro World, Stephen Harper is the numbers guy trying to calm people's excessive fears.
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On Bizarro World, Stephen Harper's opponents say the situation is dire and Canadians should jump into bed and pull up the covers.

On Bizarro World, I write columns saying the prime minister is right and his statements are measured and responsible.

Oh yes, this is a weird place.

Look, let's start by getting basic facts straight. Despite what media reports suggested, Stephen Harper's speech was not all sunshine and lollipops and no reasonable person would summarize it as -- in the words of the unreasonable Jack Layton -- "don't worry, be happy."

The speech actually began by declaring we are in "a deep and unique global economic recession." It is a "crisis," Harper repeatedly said. We face "the risk of deflation. As well, for the first time in history, all regions of the world are seeing a rapid slowing of economic growth at the same time, or a so-called 'synchronized' global recession."

Feeling happy yet? Want to dance in a flower-strewn meadow? Or would you prefer to crawl under a rock?

But wait. It gets better.

"The immediate source of this global recession is the ongoing crisis of the financial sector in the United States and other advanced Western countries," Harper noted. "And let me be clear to you as my fellow citizens: We will not turn the corner on this global recession until the American financial sector is fixed."

So, says the prime minister, we face an unprecedented global crisis and Canadians cannot expect things to improve until a threat we can do nothing about has been dealt with.

This is not a man peddling sunshine and lollipops.
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So where's the alleged happy talk? Well, Harper noted that government finances are solid. Fiscal stimulus and monetary policies are in place. And the Canadian banking system is sound.

"This country is entering the most difficult period in memory in a position of significant comparative strength," he said. The crisis will hurt but "we will make sure its effects here are the least severe and we will come out of this faster than anyone and stronger than ever."

As luck would have it -- luck and the prime minister's scheduler, who surely knew this was coming -- the International Monetary Fund delivered its take on the state of the Canadian economy the day after Stephen Harper's big speech.

Canada will suffer in this global crisis, the IMF analysts said. And the crisis won't be resolved until solutions are found for the American financial sector.

But, they continued, Canada has solid government finances, good monetary policy, a well-timed fiscal stimulus, and sound banks. For these reasons, "we think that Canada is better placed than most countries to weather the international financial turbulence and global recession."

That struck me as a good summary of Stephen Harper's speech -- which suggests the prime minister is being realistic, the opposition is fear-mongering, and the media are being excessively negative.

But apparently, I was wrong.

"Tories push positive message despite grim IMF forecast," read the front-page headline on Thursday's Globe and Mail.

OK. I give up.

Crime is out of control. The economy is collapsing. Bizarro World is doomed. Now find a rock and crawl under.

You can contact Dan Gardner at the Ottawa Citizen.
E-mail: dgardner@thecitizen.canwest.com

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